Brian Doerksen - To Know God Better

1. When did you first start leading worship, and how did it all get started?

I started leading worship without trying to . . . just by hanging out with friends, grabbing a guitar and singing our hearts out to God. It was quite unstructured. I did start a bit during my last year in youth group, and a bit during my DTS in YWAM, but my main start came when I was 19, just married and we joined the Langley Vineyard under then worship pastor Andy Park.

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2. What were some of your desires and goals in the area when you first started out?

I have always dreamed big. I dreamed of knowing God better and I dreamed of helping awaken the church to intimacy in worship - to realize that the core of our calling in worship is to relate directly with God, to know Him, not just to sing some songs about Him. I wanted to do that in a way that was passionate, had real quality in the music and was contemporary, yet still linked with the historical church. A tall order I know, that I have often fallen short of, but it remains my goal to this day.

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3. At what point did your song-writing start playing a part in the ministry? Did writing songs come naturally to you, or through a lot of effort and discipline?

I became a songwriter for 2 simple reasons that I can think of. The first is I love music, and songs have always communicated so deeply to me. As a teenager, every night before I would go to sleep, I would listen to Phil Keaggy \"Let everything else go\" and it sowed worshipful music into me. Of course, being the son of my father Harry was a huge part of it. He sang every weekend in a quartet and led the singing at our church. I also got my love for stringed instruments from my grandfather, Peter Doerksen, who played the mandolin and led bands.

When I began to lead worship, I never used any of my own songs for years . . . because I didn\'t have any, and because I found other people\'s songs that said what my heart wanted to say to God.

I honestly don\'t think worship songwriting is for those who want to \'make it\' as a songwriter. I think the writing is secondary, and worship is primary. I believe that\'s one of the ways the God purifies us in the process. I don\'t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be a songwriter, either of secular or Christian music. I just don\'t think that is the way \'in\' to writing worship songs.

When I was leading worship, I would pick the songs that said what I wanted to say to God. Several years into leading worship I began to reach for songs that weren\'t there. When I wanted to say \"Father, I want you to hold me\" I couldn\'t find any song written that said that so I wrote one (thinking no one else would ever hear it, let alone record it). It was my private song to God for a long time before anyone else heard it. I wrote Faithful One out of a time of great struggle and darkness in my life, when I needed God to be my anchor in the storm. I never set out to be a songwriter. I set out to be a worshipper, and that has led me to write songs to express what was happening in my heart, and in the life of the churches I have been functioning as a worship leader in.

The inspiration comes quickly and quite naturally, but actually working the songs out; researching, re-writing takes lots of hard work and time, plus the nervous feeling of playing the song for the first time never leaves me. Every time it\'s like, \'Maybe I have lost the gift and this song is no good.\'

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4. Who were some major influences to you in the area of worship? In your faith? What books, tapes, speakers, etc. have influenced you a great deal?

That\'s not an easy question to answer because when I started I felt like there were so few examples of people doing what I envisioned my call was. Some of Bob Fitt\'s early music definitely influenced me, as did Phil Keaggy and the 2nd Chapter of Acts (not the book in the Bible but the band - of course that chapter in the Bible is good too!!)

I love the writing of John Piper (Desiring God), Gene Edward (The Divine Romance), John Eldredge (The Journey of Desire), CS Lewis (Mere Christianity, Narnia Chronicles) and Stephen Lawhead (the Paradise War, The Silver Hand, The Endless Knot)

As far as speakers go, I love Brennan Manning and John Dawson among others. Of course John Wimber had an enormous influence on me.

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5. What are some of the hardest things about having an extensive and visible ministry?
What are some pitfalls that you have had to avoid?

I remember the last conversation I had with my then best friend Jeff Wright before he was killed in a hiking accident in 1990. I had just received the invitation to go to L.A. to do my first worship recording with Vineyard Music. I sensed my private quiet life would be changing, and it scared me because by nature I am a very shy person. Jeff really encouraged me to obey God, to say \'yes\' to His call, which would be far better than me trying to orchestrate my own life. He was right. Now I\'m not a leader with a huge public profile, but I do have influence through the songs and recordings and for that I am humbled and grateful and always do my best to be a good steward of what God has entrusted to me.

Things I have to avoid are for the most part no different than anyone else, with the difference of using one\'s position of influence in ways that are selfish.

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6. What do you love about leading worship? What don\'t you like too much about it?


I love making music that is for God. It\'s simply my favourite type of music and I can\'t believe I get to do what I love to do!! It\'s such a privilege.

I don\'t like the tendency of some people to over-spiritualize everything and get so intense, maybe because that was me in my late teens and early 20\'s. I realize now that God delights in me, and loves me doing things the way I do them; that He created me unique for a purpose.

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7. What have been some of the most exciting experiences in leading worship? Can you tell a bit about one specific time that comes to mind?

I can remember clearly the night we recorded \"Come, Now is the Time to Worship\" in London, England. (The recording is called \"Winds of Worship 12\" in North America). I remember being so amazed and humbled as everyone there connected not only with that song, but also with songs of my friends like \"Holy Fire\" and \"Lord Reign in Me.\" I sensed that this recording would have a big impact on the church in England and it has gone on to do that, as well as the follow up recording, \"Hungry.\"

However, many of my most precious memories are from small settings, where I am with a handful of others who have simply opened up their hearts to God and His presence has come. I remember once accepting an invitation for a large event and right after accepting an invitation to lead worship for a handful of students. The large event felt hollow to me, and the time with the students was one of the sweetest I have ever been in. People were moved to tears, not because of me, because of the love of God filling the place where we gathered.

The greatest reward in worship for worship leaders is always the presence of God. There is nothing so precious as that.

I just finished recording my first ever live worship recording where I was the sole worship leader. It was one of the most special days of my life thus far. We recorded it on February 16, 2002 in Dublin, Ireland. (The album will be under my name and called \"You Shine\" and released on September 17, 2002 by Integrity Music).

One of the songs I recorded that night kind of sums up how I view worship. It\'s called \"With All My Affection\"



With all my affection
all my understanding
Lord, I worship You

With my every action
all my spirit\'s passion
Lord, I worship You

There\'s no higher call
than loving You with my life
There\'s no higher ground
than kneeling down before You
Lord I surrender, I worship

2002 Integrity\'s Hosanna! Music
Brian Doerksen

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8. What would you tell the new generation of worship leaders as a word of wisdom?

There is only one you. No one else with your view of the world and what God is doing on the earth. Write honestly what is on your heart to God, and sing it to him in secret. Let that be your biggest reward. You are having a private audience with the King, the Father who loves you without measure!!! If that song is meant to have a wider audience, He is fully capable of arranging things without a huge amount of help from you. The best songs find their way out without a lot of effort by the songwriter. When I began to lead worship I never used any of my own songs. That came several years later, and began one song at a time. Be patient, but be willing to work hard. Never sing a song in public that you don\'t \'own\' in private first, and make sure that the theology of what you are singing is based the Scriptures and on orthodox theology, not just your own experience, though if you are not \'living the song\', you won\'t have much passion or authority to sing it.